A Lettter to My Sons

Dear Boys-

When you pouted because I had to go to work the other night, my heart broke a little. It does every time. But I need to share something important with you.

You don’t remember this, but when you were very small, I left for work before you woke up. After you spent the day at school or in daycare, I would pick you up around 5. We would go home and eat dinner, you would get a bath and go to bed. We would spend about two hours a day together. 30 minutes of those two hours were always the best part of my day because it’s the time I get to read to you and rub your back before you sleep.

Four years ago, I started a new job. Now I am either there when you go to school in the morning, or I am there when you get home depending on when I go lift weights. If I am not there, your dad is. I am there when you go to bed 5 nights a week, and those 30 minutes when we read are still the best 30 minutes of my day. Now I spend about 5 hours with you every day. That’s 3 more than we spent together before.

But you still complain when I have to go to work at night. So I want to tell you something.

I have an awesome job. As an online teacher, I’m bringing a class to students that wouldn’t otherwise fit into their day. This requires me to be available two nights a week- and during some weeks, I’m busy for the entire 2 1/2 hours of my nighttime office hours.

I love my job. It’s challenging and interesting and wonderful. I am pretty good at it, if you are to believe my enrollment numbers and the pass rates on the Advanced Placement exam.

As your mom, I’m also being a good role model to you. I am smart and I work hard. Women can do that, you know.

I also go and lift weights 5 days a week. Women can do that, too. That’s also being a good role model to you. Both of you boys are strong. But I can still do more push ups than you. You might be able to do more pull ups, but not for long. I can run further than you can. This might sound silly to you, but it wasn’t long ago that I couldn’t do that. You don’t remember, but I can show you pictures of what that looked like.

Tomorrow night, when you pout about how I’m going to work, remember this. I love you. I’m doing this for you. Because education makes the world a better place. Because I like my job, and I made a commitment to do it at a certain time and honoring commitments is part of being a good member of society. And when I’m not there when you go to school in the morning, consider how much you love to run and play. Lifting weights is playtime for me. I need some time to play, too. It makes me a better mama- and I’ve always wanted to be a better mama.  I am showing you through my actions that women can do anything. It doesn’t seem to matter that this is 2015 and we should all know this. So I’m showing you every day how strong I can be and why working hard – even if you fail –  is important.

Lastly, you are learning independence. It’s hard as a mom to let you do that. Think about your friends with mamas that don’t let them do anything. You need to be able to do things for yourself. It’s an important skill and not everyone has it.

You’re not going to understand this now. But that’s ok. I get to spend more time with you than I used to, and I remember how much harder it used to be. And no matter how much time we spend together, either a lot or a little,
I love you a million,
The Best Mom You Ever Had